Insanity
by Tomoshibi-Chan
Summary: Its been years since he last saw her, years since the day she left him on the verge of insanity..yet here she is in front of him now offering out her hand. The question is, will he take it and what will the consequences be for the tragic love he gives?


**_Insanity_**

**Summary:** _Its been years since he last saw her, years since the day she left him on the verge of insanity..yet here she is in front of him now offering out her hand. The question is, will he take it and what will the consequences be for the tragic love he gives?_

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"Toshiro" that familiar sound ringed hard in my ears, making my body move on its own, encapturing me with her voice, i turned and faced the girl i never thought i'd see again. The face of the girl i held so close to me. "Momo..." I whispered. The words sounded forgien on my tounge. It had been years since i said her name aloud. After her dissapearance, she was talked about very little, at least when i was around anyways. They thought of me as fragile during that time, and looking back i could only nodd and agree with them. I was fragile then. How many nights had i lost sleep from this girl, how many times dark thoughts infected my mind. How many times did i scream out because of the insanity creeping in my mind. Yes, i had gone insane. I had gone insane for a girl in whom i couldnt live without. The girl who made me feel out of my element. The girl who turned my iced mask inside out. I breathed out, trying to relearn how to breathe. Her breathtaking smile that caused my to spiral downward. She did it again, smiling at me with that smile. my smile. I could see her walk closer, closer on to the border of Seretei, the border of her once home. She continued to walk till she was next to me so I could finally see the face of the girl i cared for so much, the one who's missed face was absent through the years. I noticed that unlike before, i was taller then her by at least a few inches, maybe even a foot. Her hair cascaded loose down her shoulders, stopping at her mid back. It had grown long, before it was only to her shoulders, maybe even longer, barely able to make a bun. Now it was long and thick, curling at the ends. My hair had grown too, now shagger and longer, ny front bang hanging severly in my face. I was told many times to cut it but i took no time to do such. I looked down at her as she looked up to my face as if on unisun. I starred at her innocent yet now mature face, the face i missed so much. Her chocolate brown orbs stayed the same, pure and full, color seeping out of them. I could almost die in her eyes alone. I couldnt believe Its been years since I saw her, tortured years since I last saw her beautiful face and smile. Yet here she was. Standing before me as if nothing before now had happened. Like a movie paused at the most blissful scene where all characters were at peace, the anticlimax. I wasn't sure if I could speak, due to my words being caught in my throat.

"Momo!" I choked out. Relief struck me as I saw her standing there, her small peach colored face smiling at me.

_Smiling that smile for me._

She was here, she was okay. I felt relief fill me for the first time in a long time. Maybe i wasnt going crazy, or maybe i was and she was just another dream of the things i wished but never came true. I stopped in front of her, starring into her chocolate brown eyes. "You're here" I confirmed, as if, I had to say it aloud or she'd disappear in a puff of smoke. "I thought you were with Aizen" I inwardly winced at the name, the name of the traitor who did all of this, who started all of my pain. "or you got hurt or you-" I stopped unable to finish my sentence. Unable to release the worry I felt in her absense, as my body during that time felt torn apart without her there.

"died?" she guessed, with a smile.

_She always knew me so well._

I nodded unable to find the words. I held on unlike the others, I refused to believe in the idea of her lying with no beating of her precious, yet easy to break heart. I let myself crack a small smile.

_I smile for her. I smile for my peach._

"but that doesn't matter now." I shook my head. No, it didn't matter. "Your safe. We can go back now."

_Lets go back to being like we were._

Momo nodded as she held out one of her arms, resting it upon my stiff shoulders. Stiff because she wasn't there to relax them.

"yes, lets Shiro-chan" she smiled. "lets go back" her smile seemed to twist away, becoming a smirk.

_Why is she smiling like that? Why is she-_

I suddenly felt a sharp stab of pain pierce my chest while I felt my breath rush out of me. I choked for more air but my lungs remained empty. Everything seemed to slow down as I looked down to where the pain felt the worst, my blurred vision blocking any details. I made out blood, lots of blood. which made me glad i couldnt see all of the extent of the damage done. I saw there was something else there and it took me a whole minute to realise what it was. It was a sword.

_Momo….why? I thought you….._

I felt like it was a dream turning into a nightmare. Reliveing the past with one exception, i was the one daying and there was no one to save me. I let out a silent scream, unsure if it acually carried sound. A sticky substance clung to my clothes making it damp and soiled. I could feel my body throbbing, pulsating. I was preety sure i was shaking, but not from the pain. I couldnt breathe. I could barely see. I coughed and could feel the blood clogging my lungs come up. She was testing my sanity by standing there, by saying nothing while her sword scraped through my body, the sword jabbing at my back from the inside. I let out another scream, this one loud enough for my ears to barely hear, making me wonder if that was a scream at all. I wanted to look at her face yet...i swallowed back the vomit choking me inside. I didnt want it to end like this. I didnt want to see her trying to kill me. Why would she want too? Wasnt seeing Aizen enough? Wasnt I enough? I could feel the sword shake slightly. Thats when i broke my inner rule. I looked at her in the face. I looked up to Momo's face, blocked and blurred. Her face was twisted in a unsure glance. Did she regret her actions? I amall hope sprang through me but was depleaded when reality struck me. Im dying, by her hand.... I felt like i was going to be sick. I never thought it would have come to this...

'_i-im…going to see Captain Aizen'_

'_Wow Captain Aizen is so cool'_

'_the murderer is….Hitsugaya Toshiro'_

'_Shiro-Chan!'_

'_I don't know what do do anymore….Whitey-Chan…'_

'_its true -the letter says- its in his handwritting'_

'_please save Captain Aizen…'_

'_I know he's doing bad but maybe they forced him to do it!'_

'_Im sorry Shiro-Chan'_

'_so you like watermelons? Me too! I love fruit!'_

'_Toshiro huh? Im Momo'_

'_Oh sorry, its just Toshiro seemed so long so I thought I'd shorten it..'_

'_Shiro-Chan, Lets be friends forever!'_

It hurt so bad, I felt like everything was burning apart, I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide...again..

To stop the pain from coming. I bit my lip and looked at her again, this time she was frowning.

_Why are you frowning Momo, I want you to smile, I want you to laugh. Don't do this……_

"M- Mo…mo…" I choked out, my words barely audible. "w- wh….d you……"

Momo shrugged, obviously not trusting her words. It was as if i could litterly feel my heart break in shattered pieces, burnt to a crisp till nothing, not even ash.

"I-I see…" I managed to say, blood filling my lungs. For a second, she slipped, I could see it in her eyes. For that second her mask fell and panic arose upon her peach colored face, her chesnut brown eyes filled with sudden pain before flickering back to an apathetic starr.

"goodbye…" her voice was ice cold. "Shiro-chan.." Maybe it was just me but her voice changed in that instant. Her voice seemed to soften when she called out my name. I opened my mouth to speak but my throat was dry, all except for the blood that was clawing up my throat.

_Momo…_

She slowly began to withdrew her sword causing me to flinch as the sword slid its way out.

_Momo…can you hear me?_

She suddenly tugged on it, pulling it out causing me to jerk forward, falling to the ground.

_Momo…this hurts..._

She slid her sword back in its hilt, my blood decorating her sword.

_cant you hear my voice anymore or to you, am I already gone?_

She let another emotion slip paste her emotionless mask, horror penetrating her face. She looked at me one last time before shunpoing away.

_don't go Momo…I have something important to tell you…that I want you to know before I go…_

I laid there, my head swimming and drowning in the sticky substance pooling around me.

_I want you to know something Momo. It took me this long, this long to realise it…_

I closed my eyes tightly wishing for the pain to stop. Wishing for her to come back. Wishing that i could just die. Die so i'd never have to live through anymore pain.

_I didn't realise this….until you left…_

I Embraced the darkness ready to sleep, i could feel it coming.

_I didn't get it until you were already gone…._

I felt myself slip from consciousness, my pain dulling and fading away.

_Before I die I want you to know……I love you……_

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**Well theres my angsty one shot like I promised. Im leaning on the discision of keeping it as a oneshot seeing as, if i were to continue, i'd probably ruin it. (i tend to do those things ya know). The disicion isnt final however, im pretty sure thats what im going to do.** **Im sorry for the spelling mistakes you may find, i dont have beta. I think I fixed all the mistakes but i may have missed some. Im on the lookout for someone to beta for me, so if your intrested, let me know.** **Anyways, Thanks for reading! Remember, comments rock meh socks! **

**-Tomo**


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